Realization

Scene: A lonely stretch on Regent Street.

Dramatis Personae: Zero Defect, Answer First, four pretty girls in now-you-see-them-now-you-don’t clothes and a Porsche.

ZD and AF amble slowly down the street. Yellow, flickering streetlights cast long, swaying, somewhat melancholy shadows on the cement.

“I am a disco dancer”, proclaims AF to no-one in particular.

The Porsche appears, loaded with eight X chromosomes and slows down at the kerb. The owner of the prettiest pair (of X chromosomes, obviously, you perverts) turns to our heroes. AF is nearest.

“Hi! Do you know where the Park Inn is?”, says a voice dripping with honey and at the same time, sharp as a rapier’s edge (No. 42 on the list of phrases I’ve always wanted to use somewhere).

AF had no idea. Not that he would’ve been capable of articulating much if he’d had one. “Glurk” is all that he manages. An admirable effort, given the circumstances.

ZD, in the meantime, finally turns his considerable girth around and, the revolution completed, decides to inspect.

“Parking?”, he says, flashing his best two and thirty tooth smile at them. To the girl, the thick accent sounds as alien as AF’s dismal stab at coherence, but nobody resists the power of the two and thirty smile. Nobody. She smiles back hopefully. A trifle vacantly, if truth be told.

AF considers a warning, but quickly decides to step back and let ZD work his charm while watching the unfolding drama instead. Briefly considering the problem for a moment ZD lets loose. “You need to go a block further, turn left and keep on straight till you hit it. It’s quite big, actually. You can't miss it!” Impressed, the ladies treat ZD to one hundred and twenty eight perfectly formed teeth and eight lusciously bare legs.

Fifty meters and a few pleasant thoughts later, ZD finally snaps out of his reverie. “They were hot, weren’t they? Wish they’d invited me in. I’d have parked their car myself.”

AF spends an entire minute recovering from hysterical bouts of laughter before finally saying, “Dude. They wanted the Park Inn. Not parking.”

ZD is shaken for a moment. But not stirred. With the calm of a Zen master, he looks forward inscrutably and with considerable dignity, says, “Well then they should have said so.”

As they walk into the night, AF wonders to himself, “This is how we make money.” A moment and a wry grin later, “Cheers to consulting.”